Her fur tickled my face and I laughed and batted it out of the way before my dog then managed to jump around my entire head and chew my hair off from the back.

I kept thinking, “This is crazy, Buttercup,” (what possessed me to name a pet I would have long after my third grade obsession with the movie, Princess Bride, is still a mystery to me) but she (who is no longer living) just kept chewing on my hair and pulling it roughly.

It was then that my eyes batted open and I realized a dog was not chewing my hair from behind but that a fan was.

It’s a tiny little fan I purchased to help ventilate the space near the ceiling of the bedroom I call my bed. I rested it on the edge of my mattress and for the first time in days I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air.

I just woke up gasping because my hair was tangled up inside the fan and causing a lump at the base of my skull.

Lovely.

I ripped my hair out and then rolled over to go back to sleep with the fan now buzzing because my hair inside of it was making a wheeeeee noise. Stupid fan, I thought as I drifted back to sleep.

It just isn’t always as it seems.

A few days later I am speaking with the brand new, very good-looking researcher on our team when my other male, playful co-worker turns to him and says, “Watch out for L, she was telling me the other day to bend over and squeeze my butt in the office and right then someone walked by.” My jaw drops open. I don’t even know where to begin to protest because he is right--- I did say that--- but how to explain?

I’ve taught ballet and Pilates for years so when people ask me how to stretch certain muscles, I’m generally helpful. Which is what I was doing when I did tell S to bend over and squeeze his butt…..

It just isn’t always as it seems.

At the end of the day on Wednesday I eagerly dashed out of work to go meet my brother and his new girlfriend. I headed toward my car in the parking structure. Coming toward me, though, was a homeless man and immediately the pity mechanism inside me started blaring and a familiar anxiety about whether to give him money or not welled up inside me--- I prefer to give money, but it seems like such limited assistance and probably has more to do with my guilt than with actually making a person better off. As my eyes followed him I saw a car nearly hit him as it turned and I gasped in anger at someone being so careless as to nearly hit a homeless person.

Then something clicked.

I’m on the Studio lot, I thought to myself. A gated, highly secure Studio lot. There aren’t any homeless people here.

That was an actor.

And probably a very well paid one.

It just isn’t always as it seems.

I twiddle with my fingers at dinner as my ex laughs at one of his friends’ comments. He is visiting from out of town, I haven’t seen him in a year, we are at a dim pub and I’m annoyed. My ex has made a deliberate effort to only refer to me obliquely throughout the entire evening. He is distant almost to the point of rudeness.

This sucks, I think to myself. He must dislike me at this point…..

When later I tell him how it makes me feel even though I understand our breakup, he responds with more kindness and emotion and profession of L than I ever expected. He feels this way despite the fact that he’s leaving for the other coast for law school and despite my faith and his discomfort with it. I keep twitching and looking around me thinking:

Uuuhhh……what just happened?

It just isn’t always as it seems.

“Hi Aunt L. I love you and I wanna come down der and sleep in dat bed like we did and have some treats and play and maybe go see the animolsey’s (animals) at da zoo and stay wif you and play and have so much fun tomorrow…I come tomorrow and I want to come see you now….” A message from my three year old nephew blares on my phone and it melts my heart. I take it around to about six co-workers and let them listen to his sweet voice before I call my sister back.

“He actually came over to me and said “Mommy, here’s something: how ‘bout I go to the aunties house tonight and spend the night in dat big bed and have some treats wif dem instead of dis weekend?”

“Wait, he really said “here’s something’ Lis??” I ask incredulous at my orange-headed nephew’s brilliance.

“Yeah he was all ready to go today…” she laughed back to me.

“Oh we can’t WAIT for him to come Lis! We’re so excited!” I respond.

Lucas, my nephew, gets back on the phone.

“I was so funny cause I want to come toniiiiighhht….” He laughs into the phone and proceeds to tell me a long story about the tile project his father is working on in their home.

“I love you, Lucas, and I’m so excited to see you soon, baby.”

“I love you too Auntie—watch this!” Lucas says back before he drops the phone and runs off to play.

And sometimes things are exactly as they seem.