So I'm sitting here doing work in my cubicle and a woman comes up and says "Do you know where the (mumble) deposition is being held?"

"The what deposition?" (ok, so the exact name of the deposition meant nothing since I don't know where anything is anyway--I'm a researcher)

"The deposition...the...." she seems flustered. The woman in the office next to me pops her head up and directs her where she needs to go.

Another guy comes to my desk, seemingly flustered as well. "Do you know where [insert name of Big Hollywood Star (B.H.S.) here but I can’t say for liability reasons] is?" he says.


(Shortly after I wrote this the first time my cubicle was flanked by security guards , so i decided it was probably safer to just leave out the name. You'll get the gist anyway.)

I just stare at him. I then smile awkwardly, trying to feel him out for the punchline. He can't be serious. I give him a “you’re kidding me right” look? Oh yes, BHS is right under my desk with Brad Pitt. But he's busy tying my shoe (sarcasm in case you couldn’t tell). I'm about to start laughing at what I finally determine must be a joke when he adds:


(urgently) "I'm his manager. Do you...."

Oh crap. He’s serious.


The woman next to me pops up again and says:

"He's in there," and points to the deep-voiced lawyer's office behind me.

"Seriously?" I ask her, remembering the three men who had just walked past my cubicle. "I only saw a furry-looking guy who nearly looked homeless."

"No, that's not him. That was just another lawyer. He was the ……[gives a physical description of him]."

Oh. Guess I should clean up my cubicle if we’re going to have such interesting visitors. I’m pretty sure when those men walked by I was feeding gumballs into my face from a crumpled plastic bag.

I practically work in a circus. Shortly after the woman next to me said that a small, curly-haired man came up to my cubicle again (I'm not the concierge!) and asked me:


"Excuse me, do you know where the ladies room is?"

I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. I’d never had a man ask me that before. Then:

So did he.

"I guess I should let you ask these questions," he turns and says to an even smaller woman whose face then stuck out from around the corner.

"Yes you should," I said.