The week started on a low note. Monday I discovered that Neon Bangs Woman had died her hair…gasp….copper brown. “No one has noticed it but you,” she said when I asked what tragedy had befallen her that she would let her hair become so blasé.
I may be going out on a limb here ma'am, buuuutt....I’ll lay you money others have noticed.
Then I discovered that the dead man’s apartment I was hoping to move into has been taken by a couple who don’t seem to be aware of the fact that our landlord hasn’t replaced the carpet upon which the dead man laid for three days before the police broke into the apartment and retrieved the body. I have a feeling no amount of Glade plug-ins is going to fix that, but no doubt our lazy landlord will try.
And yesterday I had a mishap with the coffee maker at work that made the kitchen look like I’d gone Jackson-Pollock in there with a coffee-scented, grainy black paintball gun.
But then the week turned around.
First I was given excellent advice and care from a friend who had been MIA but who, though lately absent, used to be a refuge and pillar of strength for me. Then I was pleased with several messages from hilarious friends who brighten up my days with their antics and adventures—some of which could make the history books. After work I met up with another friend I haven’t seen in quite some time but who…let me explain:
This friend, K and her husband J, are not only brilliant and practical—they’re also refreshingly fun. My first adventures with them involved trying to track down a bear with a flashlight. Since J and K and I did not find it that night, another night K and I sat out in the darkness with a gigantic tub of peanut butter waiting for the notorious animal to appear. And no, we weren’t twelve years old. We were actually fully grown at that point.
“Do you think this will work?” K asked from our hiding place in the shadows.
“Maybe we should spread out the peanut butter,” I answered, thinking this was taking a very long time. She agreed and though we did cover an entire lawn with peanut butter, we only succeeded in scaring the crap out of passersby who subtly heard us and feared for their lives.
When I arrived at home after that pleasant experience my future bro-in-law Sam was in the kitchen—reading a letter one of his students had written him.
“And then I jumped ten feet into the air….and after I defeated the gang of ninjas I…”
“WHAT?!” I could only say, clapping my hand over my mouth.
I wish I had the letter, but since I don’t, I will only say this: It was entirely about a video game called Oblivion and the boy’s strategies in the game that day. It was as if real life had fallen completely out of the cracks of his consciousness---and only the game remained. That a fifth-grader would write a two-page letter about this to Sam had me practically on the floor with glee.
And then came the final moment of pleasantness as I sat down on the couch to hear about my sister Desiree’s day at work. What came out of her mouth KILLED me so I will only direct you to her site so she can explain the rest:
http://desireenb.blogspot.com/
I may be going out on a limb here ma'am, buuuutt....I’ll lay you money others have noticed.
Then I discovered that the dead man’s apartment I was hoping to move into has been taken by a couple who don’t seem to be aware of the fact that our landlord hasn’t replaced the carpet upon which the dead man laid for three days before the police broke into the apartment and retrieved the body. I have a feeling no amount of Glade plug-ins is going to fix that, but no doubt our lazy landlord will try.
And yesterday I had a mishap with the coffee maker at work that made the kitchen look like I’d gone Jackson-Pollock in there with a coffee-scented, grainy black paintball gun.
But then the week turned around.
First I was given excellent advice and care from a friend who had been MIA but who, though lately absent, used to be a refuge and pillar of strength for me. Then I was pleased with several messages from hilarious friends who brighten up my days with their antics and adventures—some of which could make the history books. After work I met up with another friend I haven’t seen in quite some time but who…let me explain:
This friend, K and her husband J, are not only brilliant and practical—they’re also refreshingly fun. My first adventures with them involved trying to track down a bear with a flashlight. Since J and K and I did not find it that night, another night K and I sat out in the darkness with a gigantic tub of peanut butter waiting for the notorious animal to appear. And no, we weren’t twelve years old. We were actually fully grown at that point.
“Do you think this will work?” K asked from our hiding place in the shadows.
“Maybe we should spread out the peanut butter,” I answered, thinking this was taking a very long time. She agreed and though we did cover an entire lawn with peanut butter, we only succeeded in scaring the crap out of passersby who subtly heard us and feared for their lives.
When I arrived at home after that pleasant experience my future bro-in-law Sam was in the kitchen—reading a letter one of his students had written him.
“And then I jumped ten feet into the air….and after I defeated the gang of ninjas I…”
“WHAT?!” I could only say, clapping my hand over my mouth.
I wish I had the letter, but since I don’t, I will only say this: It was entirely about a video game called Oblivion and the boy’s strategies in the game that day. It was as if real life had fallen completely out of the cracks of his consciousness---and only the game remained. That a fifth-grader would write a two-page letter about this to Sam had me practically on the floor with glee.
And then came the final moment of pleasantness as I sat down on the couch to hear about my sister Desiree’s day at work. What came out of her mouth KILLED me so I will only direct you to her site so she can explain the rest:
http://desireenb.blogspot.com/
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