• Not very many people have ever washed a seatbelt—the research literature is very slim.
• I guess that’s because not many people have gotten gasoline all over their seatbelt and clothes. I'm not even sure how I did it.
• Smell the armpits of shirts before you buy them. Otherwise, you might unwittingly wind up wearing someone else’s B.O.
• The above sentence is one of the most disgusting experiences known to humankind.
• Apparently voice impersonators and comedians have a market for funerals. I know this because a guy at work advertises such services for funerals on the back of his car.
• Throwing your cell phone in the trash is a bad idea. Especially if done at night.
• Having a toilet rupture all over you can make other people's day even if it causes you some nausea.
• Kosovo is still in jeopardy and ruins.

• Our cat has thoroughly earned the first name “damn”.
• Using paper towel as a match can result in far more flame than needed.
• Friends and friendly security guards make all the difference.
• Having eight beverage containers at your work desk is considered strange.
• Some people decorate graves with enormous balls of tinsel.
• Contrary to what the guys at my work thought, Amanda Peet DOES drive a Toyota.
• People can protest torture at Guantanamo, but make no noise about torture occurring elsewhere.
• Ending “I love” with “ya” totally ruins it.
• People changing drastically to being unrecognizable, is,(in its own awful way), a death.
• Laundry, Christmas gifts, and other items do not put themselves away.