The latest problem with Honda is the hole in her exhaust pipe that is growing larger every day. That, and the brake light that won’t turn off. Of course there are the usual ailments—her banged up sides and front and the pieces of who-knows-what lying on the carpet that screams out “VACUMN ME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD”. But I did dump out all of the trash. And I washed her. But I’m beginning to notice that the sound of her is causing people to stop what they’re doing and stare at the sky as if a helicopter has just passed overhead. Only a helicopter hasn’t passed overhead. Honda has passed by.
And that awkward, stilted, repulsed reaction people have toward Honda is the sort of feeling I occasionally have for women’s conferences. I don’t like that much of my own gender. It’s like feeling as though you are going to drown in estrogen or that it might suffocate you under the guise of too much perfume. Worse—it’s listening to a lot of really depressed ladies as they smack on below-average food.
This year at the conference we had a speaker who started out by saying something and adding “I was glad the Lord kept my mouth shut….” I cringed. My nose wrinkled up until my face probably looked like it was attached to an invisible string pulling it from the ceiling.
What the?
Earlier I heard another lady say, “you know, that daycare was just awful to my kids,” “well did you report them?” I asked. “No, I called but no one answered so I figured the Lord didn’t want me to address it.”
Gagging. Gagging.
At another point I heard something else along the lines of “I don’t want to be at that school but God told me I needed to be there so I am….”
You good little automaton, you.
Then the speaker said “We’re like clay, we resist whatever it is God wants to do—and he just keeps molding and molding and we say ‘no God, no!’ and he says ‘yes, I have something for you, yes.’”
Uh….sounds a little twisted to me.
By that point I’d completely shut down. It was like riding inside Honda when she jerks and jerks and you feel like you’re going to throw up--- until you just shut down and ignore that it feels like that. I finally had to ignore the language being thrown around me that was making me nauseous.
I say this because it’s done so nonchalantly. It’s so pervasive. When I asked one woman what conference she would be attending she said “Oh I don’t know, but I’m sure the Lord will have something for us when we get there,” by “us” she meant she and her one-year-old baby.
Well, yeah…buuuuut…. I fail to see….
My only reaction was a quick head tick to make sure I was still awake and not having some sort of strange seizure-like dream where everyone stopped having a mind and a will and rational capabilities.
But I wasn’t dreaming. These beautiful women--many of whom I truly do care about and admire and believe have purpose and talents and abilities far beyond their own acknowledgement—have adopted a learned helplessness in their vocabulary and their mindsets. They’ve learned to become passive to the forces around them and, like Lindsey says, have given their subconscious a name. They have elaborate conversations with “God” about what they should eat, when they should exercise, whether or not they should open their mouths about things as obviously egregious as abusive childcare workers!
And it isn’t just women. I hear it all the time from men as well. My contention is this: if God gave us wills, and decision-making capabilities, and reason--- why are those capabilities abandoned in our vocabulary and interpersonal dialogues about the one who gave them to us? I have been with people who have laid before the Father in prayer and cried out to Him to speak to them and He has been silent. So why is he silent in those moments of desperation but fully vocal to the person who asks him whether or not they should go for a jog?
From what I understand of Scripture God spoke—of course. But not with the regularity claimed by people who dismiss their own actions and place all responsibility on “God” as if they had no will or rational ability at all. The lack of ownership in the language of Believers makes me very, very, sad. It actually makes me quite ill.
Because the most telling moment of all during that conference—was that as the language of disempowerment was being shared all over the place between women--- the seminar on Depression was fully packed. Even the main speaker, mentioned above, sat in the back of that seminar.
If the language we use makes us victims to all-oppressive forces of a contrived God and ignores the deep desires, creative abilities, rational capabilities and God-given reason instilled in all of His human creation--it is no wonder that more human beings are not overwhelmed with feelings of helplessness and desperation. By that I do not mean to equate depression with simple feelings or emotions--- but I do think that there is a correlation between the amount of empowerment with which we equip believers in our language and in our sermons, and the amount of individuals who feel trapped in a system in which they are simply a cog.
I choose to ride in Honda despite her faults. I do not choose to accept the language and theology illustrated above in spite of its faults. That’s just me though…..
And that awkward, stilted, repulsed reaction people have toward Honda is the sort of feeling I occasionally have for women’s conferences. I don’t like that much of my own gender. It’s like feeling as though you are going to drown in estrogen or that it might suffocate you under the guise of too much perfume. Worse—it’s listening to a lot of really depressed ladies as they smack on below-average food.
This year at the conference we had a speaker who started out by saying something and adding “I was glad the Lord kept my mouth shut….” I cringed. My nose wrinkled up until my face probably looked like it was attached to an invisible string pulling it from the ceiling.
What the?
Earlier I heard another lady say, “you know, that daycare was just awful to my kids,” “well did you report them?” I asked. “No, I called but no one answered so I figured the Lord didn’t want me to address it.”
Gagging. Gagging.
At another point I heard something else along the lines of “I don’t want to be at that school but God told me I needed to be there so I am….”
You good little automaton, you.
Then the speaker said “We’re like clay, we resist whatever it is God wants to do—and he just keeps molding and molding and we say ‘no God, no!’ and he says ‘yes, I have something for you, yes.’”
Uh….sounds a little twisted to me.
By that point I’d completely shut down. It was like riding inside Honda when she jerks and jerks and you feel like you’re going to throw up--- until you just shut down and ignore that it feels like that. I finally had to ignore the language being thrown around me that was making me nauseous.
I say this because it’s done so nonchalantly. It’s so pervasive. When I asked one woman what conference she would be attending she said “Oh I don’t know, but I’m sure the Lord will have something for us when we get there,” by “us” she meant she and her one-year-old baby.
Well, yeah…buuuuut…. I fail to see….
My only reaction was a quick head tick to make sure I was still awake and not having some sort of strange seizure-like dream where everyone stopped having a mind and a will and rational capabilities.
But I wasn’t dreaming. These beautiful women--many of whom I truly do care about and admire and believe have purpose and talents and abilities far beyond their own acknowledgement—have adopted a learned helplessness in their vocabulary and their mindsets. They’ve learned to become passive to the forces around them and, like Lindsey says, have given their subconscious a name. They have elaborate conversations with “God” about what they should eat, when they should exercise, whether or not they should open their mouths about things as obviously egregious as abusive childcare workers!
And it isn’t just women. I hear it all the time from men as well. My contention is this: if God gave us wills, and decision-making capabilities, and reason--- why are those capabilities abandoned in our vocabulary and interpersonal dialogues about the one who gave them to us? I have been with people who have laid before the Father in prayer and cried out to Him to speak to them and He has been silent. So why is he silent in those moments of desperation but fully vocal to the person who asks him whether or not they should go for a jog?
From what I understand of Scripture God spoke—of course. But not with the regularity claimed by people who dismiss their own actions and place all responsibility on “God” as if they had no will or rational ability at all. The lack of ownership in the language of Believers makes me very, very, sad. It actually makes me quite ill.
Because the most telling moment of all during that conference—was that as the language of disempowerment was being shared all over the place between women--- the seminar on Depression was fully packed. Even the main speaker, mentioned above, sat in the back of that seminar.
If the language we use makes us victims to all-oppressive forces of a contrived God and ignores the deep desires, creative abilities, rational capabilities and God-given reason instilled in all of His human creation--it is no wonder that more human beings are not overwhelmed with feelings of helplessness and desperation. By that I do not mean to equate depression with simple feelings or emotions--- but I do think that there is a correlation between the amount of empowerment with which we equip believers in our language and in our sermons, and the amount of individuals who feel trapped in a system in which they are simply a cog.
I choose to ride in Honda despite her faults. I do not choose to accept the language and theology illustrated above in spite of its faults. That’s just me though…..
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