My mouth dropped open at another one of Lindsey’s stories about a client. Her latest client could be voted Most Likely To Have Originated On Mars…..but he is still, of course, a valuable human being I wish I could meet:

Impt Note: The written version is just not even HALF as funny as Lindsey acting this out:

“You know I am a prophet,” he said to Linds nodding emphatically.

“What?” Lindsey said back.

“Yeah….. I dunno what religion you are?”

“I’m a Christian…..”

“Ok. Yeah. So then you know, if you are a Christian and go to church, that God is going to break off California and let it fall into the bottom of the sea.”

Um. WHAT? Lindsey said she strained to look casual instead of looking drastically confused.

“Yeah—you know. God is going to break off California and so he has sent me as a prophet…to warn people about California falling into the sea....and to start after school programs…..for kids.”

“Oh he has?” Only weeks before, this same client told her that God wanted him to preach the Word and become the first black Donald Trump.

Yeah. I would have thought he was going to say, or mean, Billy Graham or something too but nope—he meant Donald Trump.

“So God wants you to be a prophet and start after school programs before California falls into the sea?”

“Yeah—and be a real estate agent.”